Hindrances to Discernment
Over the last few weeks, we’ve looked at what discernment is, sources of discernment, and consolation and desolation. Even if we have a good foundation of discernment in place though, it can still be difficult – especially when discerning big decisions.
I remember this time last year, trying to discern some big things and feeling like I was in outer space and my tether had just snapped. I was free floating. Rachel and I had just moved, came out of a difficult season of ministry, and received some disorienting news regarding the path we thought we were taking. All of this was a year into the pandemic. Oh, and did I mention that we had just had our first child? I felt untethered and grasping for anything to hold onto. The Lord eventually revealed the path, which was an unexpected and beautiful path, but discerning that path was a significant challenge as we navigated so much transition
Ways to Grow in Discernment
Today we have the privilege of a guest post from our friend Janine of the Stillness Collective. Janine is a spiritual director and supervisor living in New York City. She will be co-leading our online discernment workshop this Saturday, March 5 at 9:30am MT.
Sources of Discernment
Our very simple definition of discernment is living in light of our transforming relationship with God.
So, what helps us to do that? How do we develop eyes, ears, hearts, and minds that are more and more in tune with the voice and presence of God? How can we begin to notice God at work around us, in our day to day moments? What helps us to become more discerning people? In this post, we'll take a look at some sources of discernment that help us to do just that -- some that may be obvious to you, and others that may be a bit unexpected.
Discernment: What is it, and why does it matter?
Have you felt like discernment is simultaneously more needed right now and harder to come by?
I have, personally. For these past two years, I have felt like I needed to discern especially well. Rachel and I have navigated countless transitions and been faced with several big decisions, and I’m also growing more and more aware of the need to discern how I’m being formed by the voices and messages I’m exposed to. I’ve also felt the difficulty and challenges of discerning well. Even though I’ve needed to lean into discernment more in this season, I have felt like it has been harder than other seasons and I haven’t always felt like I’ve done it well. I believe I need better discernment skills more than ever!
Is spiritual formation navel-gazing?
We're doing a short series on what spiritual formation is, as well as addressing some of the criticisms and concerns around spiritual formation that we've heard in recent years. Some of the very real questions posed to us, and even something we've wrestled with ourselves, are: Isn't spiritual formation just a glorified form of navel-gazing? Isn't the contemplative life just a different version of self-help or self-actualization, the key word being SELF? And don't spiritual practices just promote these ideas?
What is Spiritual Formation?
One of our most popular blog posts over the last few years has been defining spiritual direction, spiritual formation, and the disciplines. We thought we would revisit the theme of spiritual formation and look at a few common questions/objections.
So what is spiritual formation anyway? Is it Catholic? New age? Isn't it just a lot of navel-gazing? What’s the difference between spiritual formation and discipleship? Spiritual formation and sanctification? Do I need spiritual formation? Is it just for the elite?
Have you ever wondered about any of these questions? Or perhaps been asked similar questions? Over the next month, we will do our best to answer them, but first, we’re going to look at what spiritual formation actually is.
The Annual Examen: A Practice for Reflecting on 2021
This is an updated repost from last year along with an updated version of the Annual Examen. We hope it blesses you.
We were sure this year would be different! I somewhat naively said at the end of last year, “Surely 2021 couldn't be worse, right?” And yet the world continued to throw us surprises: the pandemic continues to throw plans up in the air, we have known more people significantly affected by COVID, churches are hurting, America continues to be politically divided, natural disasters have wrecked communities, and then some. It was another year for the books.
And yet for Rachel and I, we also experienced profound beauty- we welcomed our long awaited first child into our family, and we get to experience all the firsts with her. She’s been the delight of our lives these past 11 months.
Peace and the Four P’s of Stress
In the second week of Advent, the traditional theme is peace (the four themes for the four weeks of Advent are hope, peace, joy, and love). As we reflect on the Prince of Peace and the peace that he offers us, I also can’t help but ponder what hinders and gets in the way of experiencing peace.
A while back, Rachel and I were meeting with a counselor, who is also a long-time friend. During our conversation we started talking about stress. He mentioned four types of stress that affect our lives. As I have been reflecting on what he said and my life over the last year, I paid attention to how these different types of stress rob us of the peace that God offers. They happen to be alliterated together and all start with “p,” like peace (and pandemic, ha!). The four different types of stress are:
Gratitude and grief
Do you ever find it hard to be grateful? Like you want to be able to recognize the gifts that God has given you, and you know you are supposed to be grateful, yet it feels like there is something in the way? And then when you don't feel grateful, it gets compounded because then you feel guilty?
I’ve had a number of conversations with several people lately surrounding this struggle with gratitude. They feel like they should be thankful, and the practice of cultivating gratitude may be a part of their lives, but all of a sudden it somehow seems harder to express than it used to, and their heart just doesn't feel it. Gratitude becomes distant or unattached, even forced. When we come to this realization, our knee jerk reaction is to double down on our efforts, especially during seasons like Thanksgiving: I WILL write in a gratitude journal everyday. I WILL be grateful for things, even in the midst of difficult circumstances. Trying to come up with a list of things to be thankful for feels a bit like hand-me-down clothes--they don't quite fit, and I can tell that they aren't mine.
Centering Prayer: Loving Attentiveness to God
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and in the midst of that conversation, our attention turned to the practice of silence, or in some traditions, the specific practice of centering prayer.
There has been a lot of conversation about the benefits of silence and centering prayer, leading to the affirmation of pushing through the initial discomforts with such a practice. Neuroscience has affirmed these benefits on a physiological level. Many counselors have expressed the benefits they have seen in clients. I have felt those benefits myself. And to be sure, a part of me gets very excited to see the broad personal benefits that silence and centering prayer has on people.