Discernment: What is it, and why does it matter?
Have you felt like discernment is simultaneously more needed right now and harder to come by?
I have, personally. For these past two years, I have felt like I needed to discern especially well. Rachel and I have navigated countless transitions and been faced with several big decisions, and I’m also growing more and more aware of the need to discern how I’m being formed by the voices and messages I’m exposed to. I’ve also felt the difficulty and challenges of discerning well. Even though I’ve needed to lean into discernment more in this season, I have felt like it has been harder than other seasons and I haven’t always felt like I’ve done it well. I believe I need better discernment skills more than ever!
Perhaps you can relate. For the next few weeks, we are going to be exploring the topic of discernment. (And, as a shameless plug, we hope that you will join us on March 5 for our workshop on discernment with Janine Rohrer from the Stillness Collective!)
John Towner, Unsplash
WHY DISCERNMENT MATTERS
As we dive in, here are some questions you may (or may not) be asking:
What is discernment? What is the difference between discernment and decision-making? How it is connected to God’s will? How do I get it? Discernment shows up in scripture often, but what is it? How do we discern God’s will? What might discernment have to say to us today in the current state of the world?
If you grew up in evangelical circles, knowing God’s will has always been very important. We’ve spent a lot of time hearing sermons about it. Knowing God’s will usually centered around a specific season of life, namely young adulthood: what college to go to, what to study, where to work afterwards, and who to marry. And then once those decisions were made, it sort of felt like no more discernment was necessary. It’s not that we ourselves or our churches believed we no longer needed to discern anything after graduating college or getting married; it just seemed that discernment only mattered when making big life decisions and how to discover God’s will around those decisions. I’d argue, though, that we need a broader understanding of discernment—especially in this cultural moment as followers of Jesus— that goes beyond making decisions in our early adulthood.
When we look at what scripture has to say about discernment, we see an interesting paradox. On the one hand, we are supposed to guard our hearts above all else, because it is the wellspring of life (Prov. 4:23). Our hearts are what we live out of. And on the other hand, our hearts are quite capable of deceiving us (Jer. 17:9). If our hearts are both the core of our being and capable of deceit, we must learn to discern well if we are to live well. What is flowing from our hearts? What desires are arising out of us, and where do they come from? What happens when there is a mixture of pure motives and selfish motives? How do we parse that out?
Discernment is also harder right now. The proliferation of technology has increased the noise around us, which makes it harder to listen and hear the voice of the Lord through the cacophony of advertisements and social media posts. (FYI: We’ll be doing a series on technology later this year!) The pandemic and polarization has also clouded our ability to discern well. We constantly live on edge, whether we recognize it or not. Many of us have gone through several transitions, and we’ve also been impacted by loss. Each one of these makes discerning well a challenge, and we are living in a time where they are happening simultaneously.
The world is groaning for discerning people. The world is groaning for a discerning community when everything else around us seems to be merely reactionary. And in our highly-distracted culture, it can be hard to discern rightly in the midst of the noise.
WHAT IS DISCERNMENT, EXACLTY?
Paul exhorts us to “not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect” (Romans 12:2, ESV).
What would it look like to discern the will of God, not just as individuals, but as the people of God?
Let’s look at a few definitions of discernment. I’ve found several good definitions, including a simple google search, which provided these two:
The ability to judge well
(in Christian contexts) perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual guidance and understanding.
Rachel and I were just at a conference with discernment as the main topic, and those leading the event defined discernment as “seeing God at work, sensing his invitation, and responding to that invitation.” (Curt and Debbie Swindoll, my paraphrase).
Thomas Green calls discernment the meeting point between prayer and action.
Henri Nouwen wrote in his book titled Discernment that it is “a spiritual understanding and an experiential knowledge of how God is active in daily life that is acquired through disciplined spiritual practice. Discernment is faithful living and listening to God’s love and direction so that we can fulfill our individual calling and shared mission.”
I’ll attempt my own definition, which builds off of all of the above: Discernment is simply living in light of our transforming relationship with God.
MORE THAN DECISION-MAKING
Discernment is more than decision-making (though it certainly includes it). Discernment is more than simply learning and knowing something. It has to do with living out what we know and who we are becoming. That final point in Curt and Debbie Swindoll’s working definition is key. It’s not just seeing God at work and sensing that invitation; discernment includes responding to it. Living a discerning life arises out of two important foundations: our relationship with God and our being transformed by that relationship.
In Philippians 1:9, Paul prays that our love would abound more and more in knowledge and discernment. There is an integral connection between love and discernment. Discernment is more than making decisions, it's about loving well—loving God and loving others.
Our decisions reveal who we believe God to be. They show whether or not we believe that God cares about our lives. They reveal whether or not we believe that He is loving and faithful and powerful. Our decisions communicate whether or not we think God is active within his world.
Discerning well also requires our ongoing transformation, as the Apostle Paul reminds us above. Discernment requires that we live into the new creation that God, through the Holy Spirit, is shaping us into. Our decisions aren’t only reflections of what is within our hearts. They also form our hearts. It’s a two way relationship. If we are to discern well, we must engage in the transformation that the Lord is inviting us into.
PRINCIPLES FOR A DISCERNING LIFE
I want to leave us with a few starting principles for living a discerning life that can help us build a beginning foundation:
God cares about our decisions. God cares for us and wants the best for us. He cares about what we do with our lives and the choices that we make.
God wants us to exercise wisdom. Discernment isn’t ascertaining the exact will of the Lord in everything we do. We don’t need to pray about brushing our teeth, for example. While the Lord does lead us specifically in some circumstances, His will is also that we would grow in and exercise wisdom.
God cares especially about who we are becoming through the decisions that we make, not just the decisions themselves. Something to consider: Is this decision going to draw me closer to Him or further away?
As we continue on in our series, we will look at what factors into discerning well, how to grow in our discernment, things that get in the way of discernment, as well as some great resources on discernment.