Holy Indifference
Learning to hold things with open hands before God, to let go of anything that gets in the way of receiving and extending God's love -- and how God invited me to experience it firsthand
Four Gifts of Ignatian Spirituality
Rootedness in God's love, finding God in all things, knowing Jesus more deeply, and a practical, integrated spirituality
Belovedness
Beloved.
I’ve been sitting in prayer with this word, this idea, this fundamental, true-before-anything-else reality for weeks now.
Back in August, Bryan and I started the Ignatian Exercises, a nine-month journey of prayer that’s meant to be a retreat in daily life. It’s a journey that’s been practices for hundreds of years by followers of Jesus, and the first few weeks (depending on which version you’re using) invite you to sit with your belovedness in Christ Jesus. To soak in it. To wrestle with it. To wonder about it. To let God pierce and wreck and heal and beckon and restore your heart with it.
What if Your Spouse was a Catalyst in Your Walk with God?
A.W. Tozer played an enormous role in my early formation. I was encouraged by multiple people to read The Pursuit of God and Knowledge of the Holy when I was in high school and at the beginning of my intentional pursuit of Him. I didn’t understand half of those books at the time, but I wanted what Tozer articulated. Tozer was held out in my church and youth group circles as a model of what could be and someone to emulate. More than the content, though, his books made me want to pray.
I was a little jarred a few years later when I began working for the Christian and Missionary Alliance and met people who didn’t like Tozer. But Tozer was part of the C&MA, and one of their posterchildren. How could someone in the denomination not like him?, I wondered. I came to learn that he wasn’t a very attentive or present husband and father…I’ve held this question recently: What if there was a real ceiling on Tozer’s depth with God because he excluded his family? He may have had a deeper relationship with God than most have had throughout history, but what if he could have experienced even more of God? What would have happened if he had seen his wife and family as a help in his pursuit instead of a hindrance?
Spiritual Formation in Marriage
What if your spouse was your best companion in your journey with Christ?
Being Seen
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24–26 NIV)
I have always loved this blessing. I often use it as a benediction at the end of worship services and in devotional material. I really enjoy the song that was released based on Numbers 6 at the beginning of the pandemic. Recently, though, it has taken on new meaning as I am relearning the power of being seen.
The Slow, Subtle Work of the Holy Spirit
*This is a repost of a journal article we wrote together a few years ago, when we were living in Northern California. The journal is no longer active, so as we approach Pentecost, we want to share it with you!
I bow my head and invite the Holy Spirit to fill me afresh. “Come Holy Spirit, come. Guide me as I review my day, noting the places where you’ve been at work. Give me eyes to see you in moments I wasn’t paying attention. May I give them back to you in simplicity and gratitude.”
This is how we usually begin the prayer of Examen. This prayer practice became especially significant in separate seasons of transition, uncertainty, and aimlessness—seasons in which we each needed the healing salve of the Holy Spirit’s presence.
The Formation of Motherhood
The house is currently quiet, with Bryan working upstairs in our home office while I work at the dining room table. Eva is taking her morning nap, but even as I type, I'm very aware that she could wake up at any moment.
So what do I do with this precious time, while my little one rests? Do I work? Write? Spend time in prayer? Read a book? Do some laundry, prep lunch, make a grocery list...? Or do I mindlessly scroll Instagram in an attempt to assuage my monkey brain/exhaustion/desire for connection, and feel instead the pangs of guilt or jealousy or longing or ...?
Communal Discernment
For the last few months, while Rachel and I have been immersing ourselves in discernment, we’ve been able to look not only at discernment in the individual sense, but also at the corporate level. I have always been fascinated by how decisions are made for organizations, especially churches. How do we discern what the Lord is inviting us to as a people and for a people? As we come up on our four year anniversary for CURATE, it’s been fun to see some of these questions and ideas around communal discernment play out for our own ministry.
Resources for Discernment
As promised, here is a (slightly delayed) post including some of our favorite resources on the topic of discernment. Add them to your wishlists or give them a listen, and enjoy!