Belovedness
Beloved.
I’ve been sitting in prayer with this word, this idea, this fundamental, true-before-anything-else reality for weeks now.
Back in August, Bryan and I started the Ignatian Exercises, a nine-month journey of prayer that’s meant to be a retreat in daily life. It’s a journey that’s been practices for hundreds of years by followers of Jesus, and the first few weeks (depending on which version you’re using) invite you to sit with your belovedness in Christ Jesus. To soak in it. To wrestle with it. To wonder about it. To let God pierce and wreck and heal and beckon and restore your heart with it.
What if Your Spouse was a Catalyst in Your Walk with God?
A.W. Tozer played an enormous role in my early formation. I was encouraged by multiple people to read The Pursuit of God and Knowledge of the Holy when I was in high school and at the beginning of my intentional pursuit of Him. I didn’t understand half of those books at the time, but I wanted what Tozer articulated. Tozer was held out in my church and youth group circles as a model of what could be and someone to emulate. More than the content, though, his books made me want to pray.
I was a little jarred a few years later when I began working for the Christian and Missionary Alliance and met people who didn’t like Tozer. But Tozer was part of the C&MA, and one of their posterchildren. How could someone in the denomination not like him?, I wondered. I came to learn that he wasn’t a very attentive or present husband and father…I’ve held this question recently: What if there was a real ceiling on Tozer’s depth with God because he excluded his family? He may have had a deeper relationship with God than most have had throughout history, but what if he could have experienced even more of God? What would have happened if he had seen his wife and family as a help in his pursuit instead of a hindrance?
Spiritual Formation in Marriage
What if your spouse was your best companion in your journey with Christ?
Being Seen
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;
the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace. (Numbers 6:24–26 NIV)
I have always loved this blessing. I often use it as a benediction at the end of worship services and in devotional material. I really enjoy the song that was released based on Numbers 6 at the beginning of the pandemic. Recently, though, it has taken on new meaning as I am relearning the power of being seen.
The Slow, Subtle Work of the Holy Spirit
*This is a repost of a journal article we wrote together a few years ago, when we were living in Northern California. The journal is no longer active, so as we approach Pentecost, we want to share it with you!
I bow my head and invite the Holy Spirit to fill me afresh. “Come Holy Spirit, come. Guide me as I review my day, noting the places where you’ve been at work. Give me eyes to see you in moments I wasn’t paying attention. May I give them back to you in simplicity and gratitude.”
This is how we usually begin the prayer of Examen. This prayer practice became especially significant in separate seasons of transition, uncertainty, and aimlessness—seasons in which we each needed the healing salve of the Holy Spirit’s presence.
The Formation of Motherhood
The house is currently quiet, with Bryan working upstairs in our home office while I work at the dining room table. Eva is taking her morning nap, but even as I type, I'm very aware that she could wake up at any moment.
So what do I do with this precious time, while my little one rests? Do I work? Write? Spend time in prayer? Read a book? Do some laundry, prep lunch, make a grocery list...? Or do I mindlessly scroll Instagram in an attempt to assuage my monkey brain/exhaustion/desire for connection, and feel instead the pangs of guilt or jealousy or longing or ...?
Communal Discernment
For the last few months, while Rachel and I have been immersing ourselves in discernment, we’ve been able to look not only at discernment in the individual sense, but also at the corporate level. I have always been fascinated by how decisions are made for organizations, especially churches. How do we discern what the Lord is inviting us to as a people and for a people? As we come up on our four year anniversary for CURATE, it’s been fun to see some of these questions and ideas around communal discernment play out for our own ministry.
Resources for Discernment
As promised, here is a (slightly delayed) post including some of our favorite resources on the topic of discernment. Add them to your wishlists or give them a listen, and enjoy!
Hindrances to Discernment
Over the last few weeks, we’ve looked at what discernment is, sources of discernment, and consolation and desolation. Even if we have a good foundation of discernment in place though, it can still be difficult – especially when discerning big decisions.
I remember this time last year, trying to discern some big things and feeling like I was in outer space and my tether had just snapped. I was free floating. Rachel and I had just moved, came out of a difficult season of ministry, and received some disorienting news regarding the path we thought we were taking. All of this was a year into the pandemic. Oh, and did I mention that we had just had our first child? I felt untethered and grasping for anything to hold onto. The Lord eventually revealed the path, which was an unexpected and beautiful path, but discerning that path was a significant challenge as we navigated so much transition
Ways to Grow in Discernment
Today we have the privilege of a guest post from our friend Janine of the Stillness Collective. Janine is a spiritual director and supervisor living in New York City. She will be co-leading our online discernment workshop this Saturday, March 5 at 9:30am MT.
Sources of Discernment
Our very simple definition of discernment is living in light of our transforming relationship with God.
So, what helps us to do that? How do we develop eyes, ears, hearts, and minds that are more and more in tune with the voice and presence of God? How can we begin to notice God at work around us, in our day to day moments? What helps us to become more discerning people? In this post, we'll take a look at some sources of discernment that help us to do just that -- some that may be obvious to you, and others that may be a bit unexpected.
Discernment: What is it, and why does it matter?
Have you felt like discernment is simultaneously more needed right now and harder to come by?
I have, personally. For these past two years, I have felt like I needed to discern especially well. Rachel and I have navigated countless transitions and been faced with several big decisions, and I’m also growing more and more aware of the need to discern how I’m being formed by the voices and messages I’m exposed to. I’ve also felt the difficulty and challenges of discerning well. Even though I’ve needed to lean into discernment more in this season, I have felt like it has been harder than other seasons and I haven’t always felt like I’ve done it well. I believe I need better discernment skills more than ever!
Centering Prayer: Loving Attentiveness to God
I was having a conversation with a friend the other day and in the midst of that conversation, our attention turned to the practice of silence, or in some traditions, the specific practice of centering prayer.
There has been a lot of conversation about the benefits of silence and centering prayer, leading to the affirmation of pushing through the initial discomforts with such a practice. Neuroscience has affirmed these benefits on a physiological level. Many counselors have expressed the benefits they have seen in clients. I have felt those benefits myself. And to be sure, a part of me gets very excited to see the broad personal benefits that silence and centering prayer has on people.
Why You Should Read (or Re-Read) Tozer’s The Pursuit of God
This week, I (Bryan) thought it'd be fun to do a deep dive into one of my favorite and most influential reads: A.W. Tozer's The Purusit of God. Tozer wrote this classic work to stir believers toward an ever deepening intimacy and life with God. His words not only resonated when he wrote them nearly 70 years ago, but feel more and more prophetic for our day and age.
Lament as Praise
Grief has been a topic gaining significant traction this year, and for good reason. We’ve faced constant change in every sphere of our lives, and we’ve been hit with a tidal wave of things to grieve, be they big or small, concrete or more difficult to define and articulate. When the world takes a much different--and in many ways a traumatic, tragic, disrupting--direction than we expected, how are we to respond? How do we cry out to God when we feel powerless?
I have found myself grieving the loss of normalcy and a sense of certainty, and there’s a heavy feeling of powerlessness that follows. I may not have actually possessed any more control before, but it’s all the more apparent how very little control I actually do have. And while it’s a good thing to recognize that only God is in control, there is still a grieving process in shedding the false notion of my own sense of control.
And then, things that we have already been grieving may be intensified in this season.
Praying the Words of Others
Even as a spiritual director and leader of a spiritual formation ministry, I’ve struggled to find a rhythm of prayer and time with God these last couple of months. Not only that, but I’ve struggled to find my own words in prayer. As a writer and a lover of words, it’s been an odd experience.
I shared a few weeks ago about the practice of breath prayer, which I’ve held onto throughout our season of being sheltered in place. Another prayer practice I’ve found helpful in recent weeks has been praying the prayers of others.
I’ve been amazed at the beautiful prayers penned by friends and shared via social media. They’ve brought comfort, peace, and articulation to my experience that I didn’t even know I needed. (Thank you, Sarah Bourns, for your poem “We’ve All Been Exposed,” and all the other prayers you’ve shared!)
Breath Prayer: For When You Don’t Have Many Words
As we continue to journey through varying degrees of social distancing, sheltering in place, quarantining, and hunkering down at home, I wanted to offer a prayer practice that may be helpful.
I have to admit that prayer has been a bit off for me the last few weeks. I just haven’t quite been able to find the words, and there have been some moments when God has felt very far away. Aside from intercession and praying for others, the easiest forms of prayer lately have been the Lord’s Prayer, those written by others (there are some beautiful prayers being shared via social media right now, aren’t there?), and breath prayer.
10 Daily Practices That Are Helping Me to Stay Grounded
As I’ve talked with friends, family, and those we are caring for in this season, I’ve realized that we’re all making some unique discoveries about ourselves, our faith, and our priorities in these uncertain times.
Working from home or being laid off, trying to give our kids structure and at-home education, making more meals at home and getting creative with what we have available, college kids having to come home to finish their semester online, sanitizing and hand-washing, working essential jobs that place us in harm’s way, new grocery store protocol, stressing about loved ones getting sick or fears about our national and global economy have forced us to redefine our day-to-day.
But we’ve also had to confront grief, anxiety, trauma, fear, loneliness, and lack of resources. Our sense of security and control (most of which has been false all along…) has been shaken, shattered, and scattered.
That’s a lot to process, adjust to, and hold, friends.
Prayers for Anxious Yet Hopeful Hearts
Hey, friends.
What a week the world has been through. As we wrestle with feelings of overwhelm and cling to hope, we wanted to share a few prayers that have brought us comfort and peace over the last few days. Pray them when you feel anxious, pray them when you're moved to intercede, pray them alone or with those closest to you--and all the while, know that we are praying that the peace of the Lord Jesus will guard your hearts and minds (and bodies, too!).
Praying Scripture: The Time-Tested Practice of Lectio Divina
The Psalmist declared to have hidden the word in his heart, and that it was “sweeter than honey” (Ps. 119:11, 103), and Paul encouraged us in Colossians 3:16 to “let the word of Christ dwell in you richly.” I’ve never found a practice of reading scripture that invites me to do the same quite like lectio divina!
I was first introduced to this ancient practice while on staff with Young Life, when Bob and Claudia Mitchell led us through it at a staff retreat a decade ago. Their love for the words of Scripture were only unmatched for their love for the God these words revealed, and I was captivated. I wanted to know the heart of Jesus the way that they did, and so began my journey with lectio divina.