Belovedness

Photo by Shane Rounce via Unsplash

Beloved.

I’ve been sitting in prayer with this word, this idea, this fundamental, true-before-anything-else reality for weeks now. 

Back in August, Bryan and I started the Ignatian Exercises, a nine-month journey of prayer that’s meant to be a retreat in daily life. It’s a journey that’s been practices for hundreds of years by followers of Jesus, and the first few weeks (depending on which version you’re using) invite you to sit with your belovedness in Christ Jesus. To soak in it. To wrestle with it. To wonder about it. To let God pierce and wreck and heal and beckon and restore your heart with it. 

And now, nearly three months into the Ignatian Exercises, I’m still enamored with the truth that I am beloved by God. I will never reach the end of God’s love. It just doesn’t run out.

Our belovedness in the eyes of God is both our core identity and our core desire. I’m becoming convinced that God’s Great Rescue Plan–sending Jesus–wasn’t simply because we’re sinners in need of His saving grace, but also to restore us to our belovedness. I’ve had a habit of believing that God loves me in spite of my brokenness, but I’m not so sure that’s the whole story. I have to wonder if the “joy set before Him” that Paul mentions in Hebrews 12:2 was about this very thing, that Jesus was filled with joy, even as he anticipated the cross, because he was thinking about what restoring us to our belovedness would mean: we could be in communion with God again.

In his book titled Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen wrote this profound and simple phrase: “Being the Beloved is the core truth of our existence.” Yes. This whole life-with-God thing begins and ends with the truth of our belovedness.

No passage in scripture draws me to this truth like Ephesians 3:14-21. This is one of those passages that has carried meaning and depth for most of my life, and everytime I read it, the various experiences I’ve had with it come flooding back into memory. I read it back in August this year during the Ignatian exercises one morning, and the Lord gave me this stunning picture of exploring the Lord’s love. I saw myself, alongside some fellow sojourners, backpacking through the wonder and mystery of God’s limitless love. This image of adventuring through the love of God has stuck with me through these last several weeks.

Even with this invitation to adventure and explore the love of God, I still find myself either deaf to or running from my belovedness. As I read the words of Psalm 139 a few weeks ago, I was struck by the two verses that mention running from God’s presence. I am so easily distracted by other things. The concept of disordered loves has come to mind again and again and again as I’ve been journeying through the Ignatian exercises. More on this idea of distraction and running from my belovedness in a future post (because I’m hopeful I’m not the only one out here who is experiencing this!). 

First, though, I want to leave you with this simple meditation through Ephesians 3. You can download it below.