Ways to Grow in Discernment
Today we have the privilege of a guest post from our friend Janine of the Stillness Collective. Janine is a spiritual director and supervisor living in New York City. She will be co-leading our online discernment workshop this Saturday, March 5 at 9:30am MT.
Andy Feliciotti, Unsplash
It is an honor to join Bryan and Rachel in exploring discernment this month. I have enjoyed reading and learning from the past two posts where they have explored what discernment is and sources of discernment.
HOW TO GROW IN DISCERNMENT
As far back as I can remember, following God’s will has been my desire. Putting this into action often has been more challenging. I can remember seasons when I felt clear about where God was leading me, and other times when God’s will seemed muddled and I felt like I was guessing my next step. When I found myself in challenging circumstances, I often found myself questioning God about where I went wrong in my discernment.
Discernment seems like it should be straight forward, but as Thomas H. Green shares “discernment remains obscure and mysterious to most pray-ers; and this despite the fact that, as I believe, discernment is the essential link between prayer and the active Christian life, the meeting point of prayer and apostolic action” (Weeds Among the Wheat).
In his post, Bryan defined discernment as living in light of our transforming relationship with God. If discernment is more than just making the right decision, if it is the essential link between prayer and an action, how do we grow in discernment? Are there ways for it to become less mysterious?
I first learned about St. Ignatius of Loyola and his rules for discernment several years ago during my training for Spiritual Direction. The framework provided in these principles for discernment continue to be transformative in my personal discernment processes. It doesn’t mean that discernment is always easier, but having a framework provides structure for the process.
In his principles for discernment, St. Ignatius encourages us to pay attention to our thoughts, feelings and emotions and determine the source for these. Once we determine which of these motivations or voices come from God, we are able to make our choice. The principles of discernment are ones that we can cultivate in our everyday life, so that when big decisions arrive, we are already practiced.
The challenge in the discernment process lies in recognizing which of our thoughts, feelings and emotions are from God, and which have a different source.
DESOLATION AND CONSOLATION
In John 10:1-10, Jesus tells the parable of the Good Shepherd. In this parable, he explains that his “sheep recognize his voice and come to him.” (vs. 3). In becoming a person of discernment, we are learning to know and follow the voice of Jesus. The voice of Jesus is the true spirit in our lives, which always leads to greater faith, hope and love in your life. St. Ignatius uses the term consolation for when we are following the true spirit.
This doesn’t mean that the voice is always happy and joyful. The voice of the true spirit may be convicting you of an area of your life that needs to change; however, following the voice leads to greater faith, hope and love.
In learning to follow the voice of Jesus, it is important to acknowledge that there is also a false spirit, or what Ignatius calls “the enemy of human nature.” This is anything that leads us away from God’s loving purposes for the world and in our lives. When a person is following the false spirit, their life is empty of faith, hope and love. There is not a sense of God’s loving presence in their life. They may feel restless, bored and anxious. (God’s Voice Within, Mark E. Thibodeaux, SJ). St. Ignatius uses the term desolation for when we are following the false spirit.
It is important to note that all followers of Jesus go through times when we are in consolation, feeling full of faith, hope and love; and times of desolation, when our lives feel empty of faith, hope and love. It is normal to have both of these experiences, possibly even on the same day. Mother Teresa famously wrote of long stretches of her life when she did not feel God’s presence.
Discernment, then, involves paying attention to your thoughts, emotions and feelings and determining, is this the true spirit, drawing me closer to faith, hope and love, or the false spirit, that is empty of faith, hope and love.
You might be asking, practically, how do we do this? We, of course, don’t need to go through a discernment process for every step of our day - like brushing our teeth or eating breakfast. Instead, it is reflecting on our thoughts, emotions and feelings. One helpful way is through the practice of a daily examen.
EXAMEN
“We do not learn from experience … we learn from reflecting on experience.” (John Dewey)
What is the daily examen? Practically, it involves setting aside time regularly to look back and reflect over your day. It does not have to be long, most times of examen are 5 to 10 minutes, and have 5 main steps. You do not need to journal or have any tools, this is a simple time of reflection. (A quick note that there are apps such as Reimagining the Examen that can helpful if you are just starting)
Here is a simple structure for a time of examen.
Become aware of God’s presence
Acknowledge God’s loving presence with you as you look back over your day. Trust that God loves you and is leading this time.
Gratitude
First, look back over your day with God, focusing on the areas of the day that felt like gifts. Express your gratitude to God for these experiences.
Pay attention to a “desolation” and a “consolation” from your day.
Notice times from your day when you were filled with faith, hope and love, and times when you felt empty of faith, hope and love.
Take time to pray about a “desolation.”
Choose a time when you felt empty of faith, hope and love and invite God to speak into the situation. If needed, ask for healing or forgiveness.
Look forward to tomorrow with hope.
Pray through feelings that come up as you look to the next day. Ask God for wisdom and help where needed and pray for hope.
It is important to note that consolation does not mean that you always have good feelings and are happy, or when you are desolation that you are always feeling sad. When you reflect during your examen, you are looking at the motivation behind the emotions. Maybe you have been listening to a friend that is going through a difficult circumstance, and you feel sad with her, but you also strongly feel God’s presence, hope and love in that conversation. Even though you are feeling sad, you are in a time of consolation.
A regular practice of the examen helps us to grow in following the voice that leads to faith, hope and love. It helps us to become discerning people.
This, of course, is the tip of the iceberg on discernment. If you are interested in learning more about the principles of discernment and consolation and desolation, I recommend God’s Voice Within by Mark E. Thibodeaux, SJ.
-Janine
We’re so thankful for Janine’s friendship and partnership! She’s a delight.
You can learn more about Janine and her ministry by checking out The Stillness Collective. She creates some beautiful audio meditations on their Instagram account, so be sure to give them a follow!