Lament as Praise
Grief has been a topic gaining significant traction this year, and for good reason. We’ve faced constant change in every sphere of our lives, and we’ve been hit with a tidal wave of things to grieve, be they big or small, concrete or more difficult to define and articulate. When the world takes a much different--and in many ways a traumatic, tragic, disrupting--direction than we expected, how are we to respond? How do we cry out to God when we feel powerless?
I have found myself grieving the loss of normalcy and a sense of certainty, and there’s a heavy feeling of powerlessness that follows. I may not have actually possessed any more control before, but it’s all the more apparent how very little control I actually do have. And while it’s a good thing to recognize that only God is in control, there is still a grieving process in shedding the false notion of my own sense of control.
And then, things that we have already been grieving may be intensified in this season.
There was an article in the Harvard Business Review back in March that was titled “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief.” That sense of offness, of feeling like you can’t quite find your footing, even if you can see the ground inches below. Do you feel that? I felt that. For weeks I felt off axis. Nothing was majorly wrong. Sometimes I wasn’t even conscious of it.
But then, I realized that when I stuff down grief and its accompanying feelings, it comes out sideways. Have you had that experience where you snap at your spouse or your children or your roommate or neighbor or friend, and then you realize that you aren’t even mad or frustrated with them? I hope I’m not alone here...because this has happened a LOT in the last few months. I’m recognizing how much of this under-the-surface bubbling is attached to my own grief process.
You see, grief doesn’t just occur in the major losses and tragedies of life. Grief can come to us in many forms and different magnitudes. And the question isn’t whether this feeling is right. The real question is, what do we do with it?
There was an article in the Harvard Business Review back in March that was titled “That Discomfort You’re Feeling is Grief.” That sense of offness, of feeling like you can’t quite find your footing, even if you can see the ground inches below. Do you feel that? I felt that. For weeks I felt off axis. Nothing was majorly wrong. Sometimes I wasn’t even conscious of it.
But then, I realized that when I stuff down grief and its accompanying feelings, it comes out sideways. Have you had that experience where you snap at your spouse or your children or your roommate or neighbor or friend, and then you realize that you aren’t even mad or frustrated with them? I hope I’m not alone here...because this has happened a LOT in the last few months. I’m recognizing how much of this under-the-surface bubbling is attached to my own grief process.
You see, grief doesn’t just occur in the major losses and tragedies of life. Grief can come to us in many forms and different magnitudes. And the question isn’t whether this feeling is right. The real question is, what do we do with it?
LAMENT IN SCRIPTURE
Throughout the scriptures, we are given a powerful way to address our grief: lament. We often tell ourselves that grief is something to get over, or something to avoid. Scripture tells us different.
Lamenting is crying out to God about what we are experiencing and feeling, and then inviting Him to set things right. Somewhere between ⅓ and ⅔ of the Psalms are laments. Jeremiah was known as the “weeping prophet” and the author the book of Lamentations-- a series of cries to God about the sorrow and brokenness of this world.
Something about lament, then, is sacred. Holy. Healing.
One of my favorite Psalms of lament is Psalm 13, which provides a simple framework to guide us through the lamenting process:
How long, LORD? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
Look on me and answer, LORD my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him,”
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
But I trust in your unfailing love;
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
I will sing the LORD’S praise,
for he has been good to me. (Psalm 13, ESV)
Raw and exposed, David expresses his heart to the Lord. Not only does he feel under attack, but he feels God is distant in the midst of his suffering. “How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?” is his opening cry.
How often have we felt something similar in these last few months? Similar questions have been running through my own mind more times than I can count: How long will this pandemic last? Where are you? Do you even care about my situation? Have you turned your face away from what is happening in your world?
Then David boldly calls on God to act-- “Look on me! Answer me!” If you don’t show up, my enemies will win. If you don’t show up, things will only get worse. These are uncomfortable words, even words we may not want to actually utter in prayer. But they assert something powerful. I want to say two things about lifting up our laments before the Lord.
Allow me to share two brief thoughts on the power and significance of lament.
LAMENT AS PRAISE
First, voicing our griefs and complaints to the Lord is a form of praise.
As I mentioned earlier, a significant portion of the Psalms are laments. The Bible’s own book of worship and prayer is filled with this kind of raw, unashamed, ballsy language, inviting us to actually tell God what is happening in our hearts and minds, without any filters. In 1 Peter 5:7, we’re told to cast our cares on God because he cares for us.
How exactly is this considered praise? Lament is a form of praise because it is an assertion of trust, and it’s evidence of our relationship with God. It is only because David had a relationship with God that David could say, “Why are You so far from me? Why do You hide your face?” And of all the things David could do with his situation, he brings it before God. He is declaring that even when he doesn’t see God working, even when God feels distant and detached, he trusts God enough to bring his lament before Him and call on Him to do something about it.
LAMENT LEADS TO REJOICING
Second, lamenting becomes a pathway to intimacy and rejoicing. Being able to share our vulnerability before God is not only inviting, but brings us closer to him. Psalm 34:18- The Lord is near to the brokenhearted. We don’t have to censor of feelings when we come to him in prayer. We don’t have to hide our losses, our frustrations, our questions before his throne. He meets us there, but he does more than meet us there. It is in this place that our grief, our lament gives way to rejoicing.
David ends the Psalm saying: “But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing the LORD’S praise, for he has been good to me.” (Psalm 13:5-6)
Friends, sorrow and joy, grief and rejoicing aren’t mutually exclusive. Most of the Psalms begin with a sorrow or a cry for help, but they end with praise and rejoicing. They go hand in hand. And they can happen simultaneously.
In fact, when we travel through our grief, rather than minimize it or try to circumvent it, our rejoicing becomes all the more real. Our shouts of joy become rooted in his faithfulness in the midst of brokenness and suffering, rather than denying them and becoming distant and untethered. In the naming of our losses and our true feelings, God moves toward us. He hears our cries. He cares for us. He heals us.
Friends, when we encounter grief, in any form, may we not minimize it, avoid it, or wallow in it. May we experience the power of lament: an invitation to lift our hearts up to God in all of our ugly honesty, knowing that it is an affirmation of trust and relationship. May it draw us closer to him and give way to rejoicing as He moves toward us with His lovingkindness.
QUESTIONS FOR REFLECTION
What has been your experience with lament, particularly over the last few months?
What are some of the things that you are currently grieving?
How have you expressed that grief to God? What has that been like? How has God met you there?
What do you long for God to do? What is your prayer for this season or for a specific situation?
FREE LAMENT DOWNLOAD
As a gift to you, we’ve included a FREE download for praying a lament of your own. Click the button below to download the Lament PDF.
BENEDICTION
Now may our Lord Jesus Christ himself, and God our Father, who loved us and gave us eternal comfort and good hope through grace, comfort your hearts and establish them in every good work and word. (2 Thessalonians 2:16–17 ESV)