The Annual Examen: A Practice for Reflecting on 2020
Perhaps more than previous years, we need to look back and reflect on 2020. This year has changed us so profoundly, and it's worth looking back to see just how we've changed.
My personal temptation is to just say "Whew, good thing 2020 is over," and move on. Reflecting back on everything that happened this year doesn't necessarily sound like a joyous prospect right now, and it's all too easy to shove 2020 aside and try to move forward. Surely 2021 couldn't be worse, right? But reflecting back on times of pain, sorrow, and suffering can be healing and transforming. It also allows us to see how God was present and at work. Romans 5:5 reminds us that God is at work within us in the midst of hardship, forming within us endurance, character and hope, while also revealing his love to us.
“Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (Romans 5:3–5 ESV)
DON'T FORGET HIS BENEFITS
In one of my all time favorite Psalms, God tells us not to forget all his benefits. It is in this act of remembrance that we connect the events of our lives with the faithfulness of God. Look at what the Psalmist says:
“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and all that is within me,
bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,
who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,
who satisfies you with good
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.”
(Psalm 103:1–5 ESV)
THERE ARE GIFTS IN HARDSHIP
In the midst of hardship and disorientation, I can so easily miss all of God's benefits. I tend to become so much less attentive to the presence of God in the midst of a painful or confusing situation. The psalmist is inviting us back to that kind of attentiveness, to noticing the nearness of God, even when the suffering and hardship aren't fully resolved. There are gifts in the hardship. Are we able to see them? (Don't hear me wrong, I am not trying to minimize the difficulty of this year for many of you. Nor am I saying that there is not place for lament. In fact, lament may be a large part of your reflection. But in acknowledging our hardship, we can recognize God is as faithful and present as ever.)
Artist, author and spiritual director Scott Erickson asked these three questions in his recent book Honest Advent, and sitting with them has been convicting:
What is the conversation I can have only by being in this situation?
What parts of my life have I been able to uncover only by finding myself here?
What unexpected place might God want to meet me in during this uneasy time I’m experiencing? (Scott Erickson, Honest Advent.)
My temptation is to want to move forward in a better situation rather than enter into the invitations that God has for me right here and right now, especially as I’m facing hardship. These questions, along with the ones in the Annual Examen (see below) have helped me to stay present and pay attention to how the Lord is at work- right here, right now.
CELEBRATING THE GIFTS IN THE MIDST OF HARDSHIP
Noticing the Lord's presence and gifts in hardship also paves the way for me to notice the good things that are worth celebrating from this year—really, gifts in the midst of hardship. Just before COVID hit, my wife and I got to attend a wonderful gathering for spiritual directors in Phoenix. We have seen God move in surprising and humbling ways in funding our ministry. We've gotten to meet with wonderful people all over the world through spiritual direction and supervision, helping them to grow in their walks with Christ; these meetings may not have happened were it not for the pandemic! We got to move back to Colorado to be closer to family as we pursue some opportunities that the Lord has been shaping in our hearts for years. And most excitedly, we found out we were pregnant, right in the midst of thinking our journey towards having children was on hold. We are now just a few short weeks away from welcoming our daughter into this world!
Not only were there external blessings, but there were internal ones as well. I have encountered the Lord's faithful love and I have seen Him cultivating patience in me (even when it is painful and I resist it). My sense of identity being rooted in him feels deeper and stronger. I am sure there are many other things I will notice, especially as I engage in one of my favorite yearly practices: the Annual Examen.
The Annual Examen: A Prayer of Reflection
Reflecting back on your year- the good, the bad, and the ugly- is an act of faith that can help us connect deeply with our incomprehensible God who is comprehensively working all things for our good. We created our own version of the Annual Examen last year, and we wanted to share it with you again this year. This practice is based upon the daily Examen, but is extended to help you reflect upon the last 12 months with some intention and depth. We hope this exercise will help you to notice God's benefits, his gifts in hardship, and the good worth celebrating and praising him for as you look backwards. May it be a blessing to you!
And if you're interested in creating some rhythms for your life with God for the season or year ahead, subscribe to our email list below and receive a free download of our Rule of Life PDF. We'll be sharing more about crafting a Rule of Life in the next week or so.
Happy New Year to you and yours!
-Bryan