The Annual Examen: A Practice for Reflecting on 2020
Perhaps more than previous years, we need to look back and reflect on 2020. This year has changed us so profoundly, and it's worth looking back to see just how we've changed.
My personal temptation is to just say "Whew, good thing 2020 is over," and move on. Reflecting back on everything that happened this year doesn't necessarily sound like a joyous prospect right now, and it's all too easy to shove 2020 aside and try to move forward. Surely 2021 couldn't be worse, right? But reflecting back on times of pain, sorrow, and suffering can be healing and transforming. It also allows us to see how God was present and at work.
How to Celebrate Advent
We know you’ve all got Thanksgiving and turkey and adjusting of plans and holding this holiday loosely on the mind and heart right now. (We can relate.) Celebrating the holiday season feels so different this year. It feels necessary, important, and so needed, and at the same time, I know we’ve all had to face the possibility of loved ones missing from our tables. There’s a very real, collective loss and longing we’re experiencing.
For us, we’re excited to spend the actual holiday of Thanksgiving with some family (which we’ve only been able to do once in the last five years! Usually, Bryan and I would celebrate on our own in California, either or alone or with some friends who extended a kind invitation). Now that we’ve moved back to Colorado, we’re so grateful to be home and among family! However, we still haven’t been able to see family on my side yet, even though they’re only a few hours away. My mom still hasn’t gotten to see me pregnant in person yet. We’re hoping that will change soon, but like many of you, we’re waiting.
Resources for This Lenten Season
Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, which marks the start of Lent. Ash Wednesday reminds us of our sinfulness and our frailty, but more than that, Ash Wednesday and Lent remind us of God’s goodness and faithfulness. Only when we reflect on our full humanity, do we fully realize who God is and who God made us to be through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It’s through this season of reflection that we recognize the magnitude and magnificence of God’s great love for us.
This season serves as a disorienting rhythm. Lent invites us into something different from the rest of the year.
Reflecting on Lent, Distraction, and Holy Week
This year, I decided to be ambitious and give up several things for Lent, among which was watching TV (which didn’t last long…more on that below) and Instagram. Both Bryan and I decided to charge our phones in the living room at night, so we wouldn’t be tempted to look at them first-thing upon waking each morning. My hope was to replace the time I spend scrolling, reading news articles (that often only make me angry), and mindlessly numbing out on the same favorite TV shows ("Parks and Rec” or “The West Wing,” anyone?) with more reading, more conversation with my husband, and more time devoted to activities that are actually restorative rather than simply distracting.
Here’s what I've learned: I really, really like being distracted. And even if I remove one or two major distractions from my daily life, I will find a way to replace them with others. I’m one of those people that flees discomfort and inner conflict and looks for the nearest available distraction. And I’m an expert at distracting myself.
Vineyards, John 15, and the Rhythm of Lent
In the vineyard, we can’t force the grapes grow, no matter how hard we labor and toil. It is beyond our power to produce them. But we have a massively important role: we have to prune and thin the vines. We have to spray to keep mold from growing, and tie on bird tape so the grapes don’t get eaten by birds. We can’t make the sun shine, but we can pull the extra leaves off so that the sun’s rays can reach the grapes directly.
Spiritual writers for centuries have been constantly trying figure out where God’s work ends and ours begins. I received an email from a friend last week that said, “Especially intriguing is the mystery of how God is the one who initiates, and we cooperate with it all.”